Open RP Post

[burnyoudown]

🔥 Hit me up on plurk or via PM if you have any questions/want to run an idea by me first/what-have-you.
🔥 General squick/trigger list.
🔥 m/m for anything shippy.
🔥 General headcanon for Kavinsky. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🔥 Kavinsky's kink list.
🔥 This is open to everyone who wants to thread with me!

Comments

Screeee

[burnyoudown]

[Kavinsky debated a couple of different replies to the text before finally settling on-]

ofc i still want you there
even if youre a dick
i dont give cars to just everyone

[threesecrets]

okay
I just
okay

[There's a pause, and then he adds:]

what i said before isnt true
i was just being an asshole

[He's trying to be communicative. Trying to resist the urge to throw his phone at the fucking wall because of the way that it feels vulnerable and uncomfortable and his heart races in his chest. It's too easy to imagine K saying fuck you, or that it was too late to take it back.]

[burnyoudown]

which part?
enlighten me

[He probably knew which part Ronan meant already, but he wanted to see it in text. If Ronan would humor him.]

[threesecrets]

[It takes a moment, because this isn't easy for Ronan, but then there's the little bubbles indicating that he's typing. Which means that he's trying at least. It feels like stripping himself bare and waiting until after to see if K is going to strangle him with his own vulnerability. But he also feels a little bit like he deserves it.]

the part where i said it was never you and me
the part where i acted like it was ridiculous that you might think it could be
the part where i treated you like you were stupid for wanting it
just
fucking all of it

[There's a pause, this one long enough that Kavinsky's started typing back, but then Ronan adds:]

i like you

[He manages to repress the urge to throw it across the room, but he does shove it under his pillow and then shove his face into the pillow until he hears it ping. He just- he can't cope with the tension, with the ache, with knowing he doesn't deserve kindness.]

[burnyoudown]

[Fuck, but Kavinsky was tempted to wholly agree that Ronan had been an asshole. He wouldn't admit how much it'd hurt, because that was its own brand of vulnerability, but- it did something to see Ronan admit it hadn't been true.

Kavinsky was in the middle of typing back when the next message came in. He froze. Then deleted everything he'd written and started over.]

god youre fucking lucky im in a forgiving mood
i like you too, obviously
i thought you didnt want to connect with another dreamer
i thought you didnt want ME
its more than us being dreamers
id like you anyway

[He wanted to sink his claws into Ronan and--not rip him to pieces, not ruin him, just...hold on. After a pause, he added-]

i want to be your boyfriend

[threesecrets]

god i wanted to fucking kiss you okay?
and so i freaked and took it out on you
because im an asshole

that shit i said wasnt even aimed at you
i was trying to convince myself and it didnt fucking work
obviously

it wasnt fast or anonymous
it meant something-- it meant something that it was *you*

[He reads that last part that Kavinsky sends over and over, at least five times, just to convince himself that it's real. And then against his better instincts, he calls Kavinsky. His voice is shaky even when he's just breathing, clearly affected when he speaks almost all in a rush:]

Say it again. That last part. I wanna-- I need to hear you say it.

[burnyoudown]

[God. Fuck. This wasn't how Kavinsky would have expected a conversation with Ronan to go, not after he'd ditched him in the dream field. He was in the middle of typing a reply, again, when his phone started ringing instead. He picked up. Of course, he picked up.

The sound of Ronan's voice did things to him, when he was so clearly affected. It sent a little shiver up Kavinsky's spine, tingled across the back of his neck.]

I want to be your boyfriend. I want to hold your hand [He knew that was cheesy, but he couldn't help it.] and kiss you and just- I want you.

[His tone sounded like he half expected Ronan to laugh at him. He was a touch guarded, but no less honest.]

[threesecrets]

I've never dated anyone before. I've never even kissed another boy. Or fucking-- anyone. But I think... I wanna try. If it's you.

[Part of Ronan is actually glad that they're doing this over the phone, because it means that Kavinsky can't see him blushing like the awkward mess that he is. Because god, but he wants to kiss Kavinsky, and it makes his heart skip in his chest that after all of this the other boy still wants to give him a chance, still wants him and wants to be his boyfriend, when all Ronan's done up to now is try to push him away, keep him at arms' length.

It seemed almost ludicrous that there was someone reckless enough to want to date Ronan Lynch of all people. But here he was, just-- wanting him anyway.]

I'd like that. All of it. I wanna... I wanna kiss you, and I wanna hold your hand and all that stupid shit.

[Ronan calls it stupid shit, but at the same time his tone says that he doesn't think that it's stupid at all. It's all heat and longing, an ache he doesn't quite know how to say.]

[burnyoudown]

[If it's you. That made him feel warm and special. Which really was saying something after how Ronan had made him feel before, ditching him in the dream field like he had. But he'd apologized and Kavinsky had forgiven him.

Fuck, but they were both hopeless losers deep down, weren't they? Ronan, who'd somehow never dated anyone or even kissed someone, and who wanted to hold hands with K. Kavinsky, who'd also...never really dated anyone before, but at least he'd kissed guys, had sex. He also wanted to hold Ronan's hand and walk him to class (when classes were back) and all of that ridiculous, mushy stuff.

And yet Kavinsky found the whole situation endearing. He didn't care if he was a loser, and he wasn't sure he thought Ronan was one, either.]

Then I'm yours. Are you at Monmouth? Is Gansey there? I could bring pizza over if he's not.

[He knew he had some party preparation to do, a few stray details to iron out, but he could do that later. Everything wouldn't implode if he delayed things for a little while.]

Or we could go to Nino's or just- whatever, you know?

[threesecrets]

How about Nino's? Gansey isn't here right now, but you know that if I invite you over he'll walk in the first time I get to kiss you or something, and fuck that.

[There's a slight pause, and when Ronan speaks again you can almost hear the smile in his voice.]

But, if you want to.. you can come pick me up. You know, if it's a date.

[It was a stupid detail, especially since there was a white Mitsubishi sitting in Monmouth's parking lot already. But it seemed-- he didn't know. Different. More intimate, somehow. Like that first drive after he'd wrecked the Camaro, except where Ronan was no longer fighting his feelings, fighting himself. Whether he loved it or hated it was no longer a question. It was just truth, just the erratic beat of his heart against his ribs, just Ronan offering to put himself in Kavinsky's hands for a while, with affection rather than venom.]

I'd like that.

[burnyoudown]

[He could've made a joke about Gansey. He really could have. Something about not being afraid to punch Dick in the dick. But he held off, if only because Ronan said if it's a date. The idea made him feel lightweight, almost like he was floating for a moment. As if he hadn't literally just asked Ronan out and the other boy hadn't just agreed.

But also, he liked the idea of making out in his car more than he did kissing in Monmouth, though...he would've liked to be able to come over without worrying about Gansey. He'd like to be alone in Ronan's room with him. He knew full well where Ronan lived, but he'd never actually been inside Monmouth.]

Yeah, okay. It can be our first date.

[Kavinsky's first proper date, maybe even.]

We could- fuck, I dunno. Go for a drive after or go to my place. If you wanted.

[He knew his place wasn't exactly ideal either since he lived with his mother, but she was easier to dodge than Gansey.]