burnyoudown | Open RP Post

[Ronan does give Kavinsky the space to talk to Adam without having him leaning over his shoulder like a hopeful puppy, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't want to. He just isn't going to be that obvious about it, so he slinks off the grab a drink for a minute.]

Hey. You get impatient?

[It's teasing, his voice easy affection.]

But you're lucky, I just got off work so I should be there in about ten or so.

[Kavinsky appreciated having a moment or two to himself.]

Hey, babe. Yeah, something like that.

But, I wanted to talk to you about something. [He took a breath, combed his fingers through his hair.] Ronan's here. I kissed him. He wants both of us. Actually, he's wanted you for a long time.

[Alright, so he wasn't the most eloquent about how he worded things, but he was trying to lighten whatever possible emotional blow this news might bring. He didn't want Adam to doubt his worth or something.]

I told him I'd talk to you about things. I love you.

[That sure is a rollercoaster ride of feelings for Adam. There's a muted curse and the sound of his keys jangling as they hit the asphalt.]

Sorry, I dropped my keys. That's-- did you say Ronan wants me? I think I need you to say all of that again. Uh- slower this time?

I love you too. It's just.. a lot.

[He felt like his head was spinning. But in a good way, maybe.]

[Well, better his keys than his heart.]

I sure did.

[Kavinsky took a breath.]

Alright, so. He told me there was a guy he liked but I had to, uh, persuade him to tell me who. And it turns out that guy is you. He was just too chickenshit--sorry, worried about fucking everything up to make a move before. But he cares about you.

[With Kavinsky 'persuade' could mean a lot of things but in this case, it just meant, surprisingly, 'ask nicely'.]

[If it had been anyone else- probably even Ronan- Adam wouldn't have believed it. But he believed the sentiments Kavinsky had managed to extract from the other boy, the fact that it involved the words chickenshit before he rephrased it to sound nicer. Even if that last sentence was still hard to accept.]

Fuck.

[The past eighteen months of their relationship slowly rearranged itself as he scrubbed a hand over his face. He gets the car door open and slides into the seat just so that he can sit and breathe for a moment.]

I can't decide if I'm oblivious or if Ronan's an idiot.

[He bites his lip.]

Is this okay?

Ronan's an idiot.

[It was his immediate reply, without hesitation. He couldn't blame Adam for being a little oblivious when Ronan's methods of flirting were what they were.]

Is what okay? That he's into you? I'm not jealous or anything.

[He didn't think Adam was just going to suddenly leave him for Ronan.]

[Adam laughed softly, a smile on the other end of the line. Kavinsky wasn't wrong, of course. But Adam still felt sort of- like he'd failed to put together half of an equation.]

I just couldn't imagine having a chance. But he- I mean, when Aglionby raised tuition prices this year he bribed the church ladies to lower my rent. Some sort of "tax adjustment" that left me with a rent credit in the exact amount of the tuition increase. And he was always doing shit like that, but-

Then the rest of the time he was Ronan Lynch.

[He figures that Kavinsky knows what he means.]

Yeah, I just- it's different, isn't it? You don't mind if we share him?

[He's teasing a little, but it's also.. willingness. Interest. He'd told Kavinsky he'd wanted to kiss Ronan since his first day at Aglionby.]

He's stupid but he's sweet when he cares.

[Ronan's heart was in the right place--most of the time--Kavinsky thought. And K would do things like that for Adam, too, if he knew he wouldn't have to fight the other boy about it. But Adam was stubborn and determined and- it was part of why Kavinsky loved him.]

I wouldn't mind.

[Was he already thinking things like watching the other two kiss or-? Absolutely. Did he also think this was something that could make Adam even happier? Definitely. He liked it when Adam was happy; he deserved more reasons to smile.]

Imagine all the potential. [The potential threesomes he meant, but he didn't want to come right out and say it and risk spooking Adam. Because, honestly, he'd take things at whatever pace the other two were comfortable with. Adam meant a lot to him and Ronan was special. And, more importantly, Adam hadn't said no yet.]

He'd be good to you. And me.

That's exactly it, isn't it?

[He says it with warmth, at least. He doesn't mean it in a cruel sort of way- Ronan could be as smart as anyone when he applied himself. And he was sweet when he cared, when he tried.

Adam is quiet while he tries to puzzle through how he feels about this, what to do with this shift. He laughs a little when Kavinsky mentions the potential. And not too long ago, it probably would have spooked him. But now he just hums thoughtfully, with something like heat in his breath.]

You think that would work, having us all in bed together?

[He wasn't saying no. After a moment he shakes his head, because he thinks that Kavinsky's right.]

We can talk about it when I get there? Because- it feels like it might work. Like this way it's gaining something instead of losing things. But we still have to figure out.. what this would mean, and where the lines are. And I'm greedy, K.

[He says it sometimes, like a joke, but with Kavinsky he can stand to say it like this- where he means it. Where he can feel like his boyfriend wont judge him for it.]

I dunno. We can figure that out when we get that far, though.

[There wasn't a rush and he didn't want to make Adam feel pressured. Hell, Kavinsky would even take just chastely sleeping in the same bed with Adam and Ronan. He had a king size; it was plenty big enough for three teenage boys. Anybody's bed would do though, really.]

Yeah, okay. We've got all the time we need to figure this thing out. And I'm greedy, too. Always have been. I think it's- it's 'cause we never had a lot when we needed it. But I want you to be happy and not feel like you've gotta lose anything.

I'm not opposed to it. But yeah, we should talk first. And then see- what everyone's interested in?

[But Adam was more of a perv than most people thought that he was. He was just also.. he needed Kavinsky. And that had been a scary realization, one that lived under his skin. Possibly even scarier, was the idea that if he let him in- he might need Ronan too.

He would be perfectly happy to cuddle with the other two, even if they didn't take their clothes off- although he absolutely had threesome thoughts swimming in his head. But really, Kavinsky's bed was the best option. Adam's bed barely fit him alone, and he wasn't sure how Ronan would feel about taking them to the Barns.]

Yeah. I mean- living with my parents nothing was ever mine. I was always.. waiting for someone to take it away or for my father to ruin it. Especially if it was something I liked, or that made me happy. And now I just- I want so much. And you make it seem like I'm allowed to.

I love you.

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

[Kavinsky didn't want to get ahead of himself, which he was prone to doing. If they rushed into something like this it could end messy. He'd had enough things end messy for him, he didn't need something like this to blow up in his face.]

Of course, you're allowed, sweetheart. I wish I could give you everything you need and want.

[Not just in a relationship, but things like money and cars and houses.]

I love you, too.

I mean, I'd want to. Once we know how it works. Having both of you?

[His breath gets a little rough, but it's with heat, not something negative. Not with worry. Instead- well, he's trying not to focus on the thought of being in bed with the two boys too much, or else he'll end up jerking off in his car before he leaves for the party. Adam didn't want this to blow up in their faces. He wanted- to take it slow, to make sure this was good for them.

But it feels good, knowing that Ronan wanted him. Ronan Lynch, who could have had anyone, and he wanted Adam Parrish. It wasn't a new feeling: it was the feeling he woke up with every morning, when he remembered Kavinsky loved him.]

You would if I let you. I know I've always made it... difficult for you. [He knows this is a tangent, but he knows how stubborn he is with these things is probably rough for the other boy. He only means to explain a little, but maybe everything else pushes it into something more.]

It's not just the money, you know. You have.. power. Over people, the world around you. And that's part of what scared me, part of why it was always easier to let Ronan do things for me than Gansey, why I fought you so hard at the beginning. I didn't want to be one of his things, I didn't want to be something else that he bought. And I thought that I didn't want to be one of your dogs.

[He takes a breath, like he's steadying himself, and his voice softens a little, his Henrietta accent coating his words, like this is some sort of secret.]

It's- security, safety. That's the other part. Gansey-- well, he was always gonna chase after whichever direction his dead king led. If I let him give me things, I'd rely on that, and then it'd all be gone whenever the wind carried him away. I figured you were sort of the same at first-- sorry.

[He apologizes for comparing him to Gansey, trying to put a little bit of levity into things. Ronan was tied to Henrietta the same way Adam was, with the weight of family names, but unlike Adam he didn't seem inclined to try and fight the pull. So as mercurial as he might be, Ronan would never leave taking every good thing with him.]

But you know, I thought eventually I was going to lose your interest and you'd walk away. So I could only accept what I could live without. But I-- I don't think that now. I think you're the best boyfriend that I could ever have found. More than Ronan, or Gansey, or anyone else in the world. And I want more. Because you make me feel safe. Like I could go to college and come back to you and kiss you in my dorm room and that we could-- make something together.

[For always. He isn't crying. He just-- okay, he is, but it doesn't feel like a bad thing, even if his ribs ache. He thinks it's just how big the feelings are. Bigger than I love you; even if he doesn't quite know the words to say them in.]

You still can't get me a car. But.. maybe some other things. We can talk about it?

[He'd meant to compromise, not spill his heart, but it feels okay anyway.]

[Damn right he'd do it if Adam let him. Kavinsky would spoil him rotten. But at the same time, he also sort of liked that Adam didn't let him do that. It assured him that Adam wasn't with him just because of his money. But on the other hand, he wished Adam would let him get him some things.]

You don't have to apologize.

[For as much as Kavinsky disliked Gansey, being compared to him wasn't an insult. There were probably a lot of people who wished they could be compared to Dick Gansey. The real truth was, Kavinsky wasn't going anywhere. And if he did, if he wanted to see the world? He'd take Adam with him. They could go to Italy or Spain or Hawaii, but he doubted Adam would let him buy him plane tickets.

The rest though, the rest made his breath hitch in his chest, just a little. Or more than a little. He'd never considered himself a good boyfriend before. He'd been a downright shitty one in the past. But he'd always been trying with Adam. Kavinsky wanted to treat him right, to make this last. He was desperately in love with Adam but there was more to it than that. Normally, K didn't believe in shit like soulmates. But with Adam? Adam made him believe.]

Maybe I should get you a ring.

[He sounded a little choked up and normally he'd brush it off and hide it, but he was safe with Adam, he knew that.

Scrubbing at his face, he took a breath.]

Okay. Talking's good.

Maybe you should.

[He rubbed at his eyes, damp with tears not because any of this was bad, but because he felt like he would burst with the feelings, with how his heart raced in his chest. With the sheer joy of it, of the boy he loved, that loved him back. Kavinsky was magic, not just because he was a Dreamer, but because he was good and he cared, and he filled Adam with so much love it felt like magic. If they were face to face, he'd wrap him in his arms, hold him just to anchor himself, but for now he just closed his eyes and let himself feel it, let the question echo in his bones.

Who would want to marry Adam Parrish? Joseph Kavinsky.

And Adam didn't question it, didn't wonder if it was real or if he meant it. He just.. tried to say it back. I'll say yes, the words that thrummed through it. That feeling that Adam wanted it too. He knew people would roll their eyes at the idea of them getting married, high schoolers who didn't know any better or something like that. But Kavinsky was all that he needed, all he wanted. He'd never believed in soulmates or love at first sight, or any of that romantic nonsense. He'd hardly believed that love was something that he got to have. But Kavinsky changed all of that: made his heart skip at the end of movies, when the boy kissed the girl -- just because he understood now what that feeling was supposed to be.]

Talking is good, but right now I just wanna see you.

[He doesn't cull his accent as much with Kavinsky, doesn't feel like the other boy will see him as something less-than because of it. And he might find a way to be okay with plane tickets, eventually, but for now it was just- small steps. He just wanted to feel like he stood on his own feet, like he gave back as much as Kavinsky gave him -- he was trying, anyway.]

Gimme ten minutes. And then I want you to hold me.

Edited 2022-07-17 01:13 (UTC)

[Maybe you should. Who would want to marry him? Adam Parrish, apparently. Maybe he would get Adam a ring. Dream him up something nice after looking through rings online, to get some ideas. This wasn't how he'd expected this conversation to go but he wasn't upset about it, either. He'd almost forgotten they were talking about Ronan to start with. He wondered if Ronan would be happy for them or jealous if Kavinsky told him he thought Adam would marry him if he asked.

He took another breath, shaky as it was, and smiled.]

Same. I'll be waiting for you, arms open.

[Not literally, but he'd definitely hold Adam when he got there.]

Mm, good. I'll see you soon. And we can talk. And I love you.

[And Adam hangs up, and he starts his car.

Meanwhile, once Kavinsky hangs up the phone, Ronan downs the last of his drink. He'd been nursing it slow just so that he had something in his hands, so that he wasn't fidgeting uselessly while he waited to hear how things went. He was tense despite himself, despite the way that he was trying to look casual. He wanders over to the other boy as he starts to head towards Ronan, more or less meeting him halfway.

He's about to ask a question, except that he realizes that Kavinsky looks-- emotional? Are his eyes glassy? Ronan takes a step back as he claps a hand on his shoulder, his stomach threatening to twist itself into knots. Had he fucked things up? God- just. God he hoped not.]

Hey. Are you.. okay?

[Ronan tries to keep his voice level, so Kavinsky doesn't feel like he's entirely obvious, hopefully.]

[After a quick I love you, too, Kavinsky also hung up, shoving his phone in his pocket. He tried not to look so affected, like he had his heart on his sleeve, but it was hard after the conversation he'd just had. Apparently, as he met up with Ronan again, he was pretty obviously emotional.

He laughed, a light sound.]

I'm great, actually. I think Adam just said he'd marry me if I asked him.

[He paused for a moment, head tilting to the side.]

Which is not where I expected our conversation to go.

[That was not the answer that Ronan was expecting, but he laughs, clapping a hand against the side of Kavinsky's head and ruffling his hair in a playful, but conspiratorial sort of way. Ronan is happy for them, which makes the feeling sort of like vertigo. Worrying he'd ruined things to finding out two of the people he cared for most were assumedly going to get married at some point in the not-too-far future.]

You asshole. Congratulations.

[He grins, hooking an arm around his shoulders after clapping him on the back a few times.]

Guess I'm not shit luck all the time. I shoulda brought-- fuck. Cigars or some shit. I'll save that for when you actually give him a ring, I guess.

[Kavinsky has a better option for a best-man, but he'd be Adam's, if he wanted him to.]

Thanks, man.

[He was- it was still sinking in. It'd been one thing to tell Adam, over the phone maybe I should get you a ring, but it was another thing entirely to say it to Ronan. It made it feel more real, like it was actually going to happen someday. He felt light and happy and at the same time, there was a lowkey panic. What if he was a bad husband when the time came? He pushed those thoughts away though, focusing on the good part of things.

He hugged Ronan tight for a moment. He was glad Ronan didn't seem hurt by it or jealous, both of which Kavinsky might have been if the tables had been turned. But- this was good. It was good.]

I'm still not sure how 'hey, do you want to have sex with Ronan?' turned into 'hey, maybe we'll get married', but I'm sure as shit not complaining.

[Ronan hugs him back, almost without thinking about it. He hugs him like he can push all his joy into him, rubbing his back for a moment, and then just clapping him on the shoulder as they part. Ronan catches him by the shoulders and shakes him just a little.]

You guys are gonna be good, you know that right?

[He was a little jealous, if he was honest. It was what he'd seen in the hall at Aglionby, even if it hadn't had the word marriage attached to it then. But he'd seen the way that they fit together, like halves of one another. And so he-- fuck. He didn't know if he was jealous of the two boys that he liked, that he cared about, or jealous of that feeling. But he wasn't hurt, because Ronan had hurt himself. He'd walked away from Kavinsky, not the other way around. Their relationship- he was glad they had it. Adam needed it, but he thought Kavinsky probably did too. Less assured than he tried to seem in the quieter moments.]

I mean, it's you so I'm not completely surprised. [He elbows him just a little.] But uh.. does he want to?

[He was teasing, but also- you know, he was still interested. How could he not be?]

I know.

[It was easier to bluff than say he was unsure and worried that he'd fuck something up. If something went wrong, he knew it wouldn't be Adam's fault. Had Kavinsky ever had something good in his life that he hadn't screwed up somehow? There was only Adam.

Laughing, he grinned at Ronan at the question. He'd dropped the hint on purpose hoping he would ask, so Kavinsky wouldn't have to change the subject too drastically. Predictably, it'd worked.]

Yeah, he does. He didn't agree to anything but talking yet, but he was definitely thinking about it. Having sex with you, I mean.

Open RP Post

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject