Joseph ♔ Kavinsky (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
burnyoudown) wrote2021-07-18 04:56 pm
burnyoudown) wrote2021-07-18 04:56 pm
Entry tags:
Open RP Post
🔥 Hit me up on plurk or via PM if you have any questions/want to run an idea by me first/what-have-you.
🔥 General squick/trigger list.
🔥 m/m for anything shippy.
🔥 General headcanon for Kavinsky. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🔥 Kavinsky's kink list.
🔥 This is open to everyone who wants to thread with me!
ro and kavinsky and adam? maybe? idk what I'm doing but have a thing anyway
Ronan flinches, burning as he arches into his touch with a choked sound and heat in his veins. He still leaves, but not before he kisses him, desperate and aching and fingers sliding into his hair. Ronan's knees hitching to his hips on the hood of the car as they press chest-to-chest. Wasted on dreams, on desire. Staying is still impossible.
But coming back isn't.
So he still leaves. Still ghosts him for a few days to get his fucking head on straight. But it's not cruel as it could be, even if it's a messy thing. Kavinsky isn't the only boy that catches his eye, and Ronan doesn't really know how to handle the ways that they bleed into one another in his dreams. Adam also isn't oblivious the way Gansey tends to be, so Ronan doesn't think that his struggles or his attractions are as invisible as he wishes they were.
Ronan doesn't mean to be selfish. He hasn't kissed Adam, but there was a moment with the two of them standing in Cabeswater where he could feel his pulse racing in his throat, feel his face heat. It felt like an almost. He feels like he ought to say something to Kavinsky, but that would mean talking about what the kissing means in the first place.
He really doesn't mean to be selfish. But he's looking at Adam and the words you should come with me are off his mouth before he thinks better of it. Because Adam hadn't believed he could beat Kavinsky in a streetrace -- and clearly that's the sort of thing that needs proof.
Or maybe Adam realizes its Ronan's clumsy way of trying to invite him into his world and not just Gansey's. A world that includes Kavinsky, for better or worse.
So there's a car race.
And then in the aftermath there's three boys; two drinking beers and Ronan trying to decide if this is a good night or not. Or if he's one wrong word from being strangled to death by both of the boys he likes.]
no subject
He couldn't remember ever saying more than two words to Adam and he wasn't exactly making too much of an effort right now, but he wasn't ignoring him, either. He just...didn't know what to say without being a jerk, though that was sort of his default setting. And then, out of nowhere-]
So have you kissed Parrish too, or just me?
[It was a good thing Adam hadn't been drinking anything (he wasn't a fan of beer or any other alcohol, really) because if he had he likely would have choked on it.]
Excuse me?
[He defaulted to polite when he was caught off guard, Henrietta accent slipping out a little stronger than usual. He hadn't known-- he hadn't thought-- Ronan and Kavinsky? That was something difficult to wrap his head around and yet not that difficult at all, at the same time. They were more alike than most people, especially Gansey, seemed to realize. It wasn't even that they were opposites, they were- it made Adam feel some sort of way if he thought about it too hard.
So instead, he turned inquisitive eyes to Ronan. Not accusing, just questioning. What was going on?]
no subject
Fuck K, you can be an ass, you know that?
[But Ronan's tone is annoyed and not furious, which it easily could have been. His face is flushed with heat at being confronted with the fact that he's attracted to both of them, pink against his cheeks by the firelight.
He's not outright angry about it, mostly based on the fact that Adam hasn't left. Somehow he doesn't seem outright upset at him, or like Ronan had done something wrong just by the suggestion that he might have kissed Kavinsky. And the truth is that Ronan hadn't known how to approach the subject with either of them. How was he supposed to try and ask the question, or admit to how he felt about them? So even if Kavinsky's question was frustratingly blunt, it at least got it out on the air in a way that Ronan would have never managed if left to his own devices.
He sighs, dragging a hand against the stubble of his shaved head as he looks to Kavinsky, and then back at Adam. He'd never thought that he'd be this sort of boy- but this isn't like Declan's cheap and transient girlfriends. He'd meant it when he kissed Kavinsky, and Adam was- he wanted him. They both meant something. He cared, fucked as that was.]
I kissed Kavinsky. I mean, despite appearances, he can be charming when he thinks no one will notice. But I.. I wanted to kiss you the other day. I just didn't know if that would fuck everything.
[He looks at Kavinsky at the last sentiment- because that's what he means, of course. That he didn't want to ruin whatever it was they'd started. Shifting uncomfortably, his shoulders drawn up in his discomfort, and he slugs back the last of his beer with a snarl of temper on his mouth. But he doesn't walk away, and his eyes slip between them, hopeful but worried he's doing everything wrong.
God help him. He doesn't know how to talk about this shit. But he refrains from saying that outloud since he'd pretty sure both of them are aware of that about Ronan.]
no subject
Someone had to say it.
[And knowing Ronan, he could have danced around the subject for ages. He was also a little touched when Ronan said he could be charming, though he didn't show it. He didn't know what Ronan saw in Adam--they weren't friends, K didn't know much about him--beyond the physical. Adam had a nice everything. In a different lifetime, from the little that Kavinsky knew of him, he thought they could have been friends.
Adam, on the other hand, was conflicted. There was a little voice in his head that was already telling him he was second best, second choice to Kavinsky, of all people. He was always second best, never anyone's first choice. He tried to push that voice down, drown it out among better thoughts.
Thoughts like Ronan wants me, which made him blush when he gave it real consideration, the tips of his ears going pink. He didn't think anyone had ever wanted him before, romantically. And Ronan could probably have whoever he wanted--if they could put up with him--but he wanted Adam--and Kavinsky.]
I don't know...
[It was all very sudden, thanks to K, but was it really though? If Adam thought about it hard enough, hadn't he noticed the way Ronan had been looking at him? It was different than friendship, it was... He swallowed.]
I can play well with others. [Kavinsky said, by which he meant he could let go of his jealousy when it came to Ronan and other people, if Ronan really wanted both of them. It wasn't like Kavinsky hadn't shared before, but that was arguably different.
Adam took a deep breath, scrubbing his fingers through his hair, wrinkle between his eyebrows as he frowned.]
What do you want? Besides kissing?
[He had to know the shape of this thing, no assumptions, before he could start to decide what he thought about it. Did Ronan really want him--them--as his boyfriend(s), or did he just- Adam took another breath.]
no subject
He still struggles a little bit when Adam asks him what he wants. But he takes a breath, and looks at the other boy. Looks at him like he wants him, like he's not hiding it- even if he's never been particularly good at it.]
I want- all of it. It just felt.. selfish and greedy, and I didn't know if I was allowed to want it. But I want more than kissing. I want to watch you when you're studying and make you laugh and- I dunno, man. All of it.
[He wants to care about him, to keep him safe... to go see a movie he doesn't actually care about just for the opportunity to make out in a dark theater. He wants to be someone that Adam can let himself trust. He frowns and scuffs his one of his boots into the gravel, awkward and a little uncertain, his face still flushed.
Ronan meets Adam's eyes, and then looks at Kavinsky- like he can say in a look that he wants that with him, too. Checking to make sure that this is okay, that he isn't saying the wrong fucking thing. Part of why he hadn't said anything, hadn't kissed him, hadn't tried was that he was scared he'd fuck it up.
He thought that both boys were easy to want, even if they both hid it. Kavinsky behind sharp edges and Adam with invisibility. But once you really looked, you were fucked. Or at least Ronan was.]
no subject
It wasn't just a physical attraction, it was more than that. Ronan wanted a proper relationship. The idea made Adam's cheeks heat again. But could he share him with Kavinsky? He already had been, in a way, hadn't he? He'd been sharing Ronan's time with the other boy, maybe he could share his love, too--if it was love.]
I didn't know you were a romantic, man. [Kavinsky said.
But it was sweet. Ronan was sweet. He wasn't just all sharp edges and hard fists and venom. There was more to him than that. There was more to Kavinsky, too, and he desperately wanted to show Ronan. He didn't want to scare Adam away, either, mostly for Ronan's sake.
Tentatively, Adam moved closer to Ronan, reaching out to gently slide his hand in the other boy's.]
And you're sure you want us both?
[He wasn't doubting Ronan, exactly. It was more like he was doubting himself. What did he have to offer compared to Kavinsky? Not that he thought Kavinsky was better than him, but Adam was...plain and boring where the other boy was loud and wild and handsome.]
no subject
He flushes and shrugs his shoulders a little bit sheepishly when Kavinsky says he didn't know he was a romantic. He tries to make it careless, like it doesn't matter- but then he hesitates, curses on an exhale of breath. Venom was easier. This-- this was hard. But he's trying. With both of these boys that he can't resist.]
Fuck, I just.. I dunno, man. I always thought you'd laugh if I filled your car with roses or that sort of stupid shit.
[It was maybe an exaggeration, but the point was there, buried in the words- Kavinsky didn't seem like the romantic type, either. And the idea of having the other boy laugh at him for expressing how he felt was a horror worse than the ones from his dreams. He didn't know if Kavinsky wanted him without his sharp edges, if he wanted the soft affection that went with kisses against the Mitsubishi. But Adam- Adam seemed to accept the worst of him because he knew that Ronan was more than that.
So here he was, admitting that he was softer than he seemed, even a romantic. It steadies him from how off-balance he feels as Adam slides his hand into his own, and he curls his fingers against him, although it sets his heart racing. Almost overwhelmed, aching with want, and equally terrified. Not that he'd ever admit that outloud. But Ronan knew what a mess he was, how he was better at breaking things than anything else. But he swallows, nodding at the question, squeezing Adam's hand slightly- like he's proving to himself this is real.]
Yeah. I mean- if I could choose I would. But I can't help it. I- you're both important to me.
[He looks at Adam with that same intensity of before, wanting without his walls up.]
Ignore this if it's too late, trying to wrangle my inbox
[No one had given him flowers before, probably because most people thought receiving flowers was for girls and that guys needed manlier things. Kavinsky was pretty fond of roses, though. Flowers in general, though he'd never admitted it. Was this an admission right now? Besides, who said roses couldn't be manly? With or without thorns.
Adam's heart fluttered. There was a lump in his throat. He kept having to remind himself that Ronan was choosing both of them, not one over the other, and that meant they were equally important to him. Adam was equal. He didn't usually feel that way. He usually felt like he was less than other people, a fake, a liar. He always worried someone would see right through him and now where he'd come from. But Ronan already knew and he was still standing here saying he wanted him.
He glanced over at Kavinsky, then back at Ronan.]
You are choosing. You're choosing both of us and that still counts.
[Maybe somebody else would have called Ronan greedy but Adam thought- maybe a relationship didn't always have to be just two people. Maybe it could be more. If the three of them didn't tear each other apart, at least.]
I like flowers, too.
[Adam's Henrietta accent crept out into his words; he was feeling a little shy, a little unsure. But he was doing his best to be open and honest about all of this--and accepting. He had a chance with Ronan and he didn't want to lose that.
He glanced at Kavinsky again.]
I'm- I'm okay with this if you are.
[Kavinsky considered it for a moment and then shrugged. Would he get jealous at some point or another? Probably. Would he get over it eventually? Also probably. Was he already wondering if he could lure Adam Parrish into bed with him someday? Most definitely.]
Yeah, sure.
[Maybe that didn't sound as enthusiastic as he intended it to- let him try again. After a second, he added-]
I've wanted Ronan for a long time. [For a lot of reasons, in a lot of different ways. Both sexually and nonsexually.] I'm not just- I can't just walk away.
[He was trying to say that he cared about Ronan too much to just up and leave. He wanted him, a chance at an actual relationship.]