burnyoudown | Open RP Post

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Open RP Post

🔥 Hit me up on plurk or via PM if you have any questions/want to run an idea by me first/what-have-you.
🔥 General squick/trigger list.
🔥 m/m for anything shippy.
🔥 General headcanon for Kavinsky. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🔥 Kavinsky's kink list.
🔥 This is open to everyone who wants to thread with me!

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[Ronan gasped softly against the other boy's mouth as he touched him, kissing him back. Kavinsky was good at it, even if he didn't kiss Ronan nearly as hard as he'd imagined. Somehow, the way they kissed like this, almost sweetly- it felt real. Dream-like only for how he hadn't dared to believe that this was something that he could have.

His skin felt hot, like he was burning, and not because of the heat or the sunlight, or anything except the boy he was pressed against. Ronan didn't know how to want someone in pieces, how to have restraint when it came to feeling things. He wouldn't have kissed him if he didn't want everything. He wanted it all, but K had never seemed... Ronan hadn't either, if he's being fair. Not in fucking Henrietta, Virginia. Not when it would mean being vulnerable.

He'd half expected Kavinsky to punch him, somehow. The fact that he wanted him was almost more difficult. But he doesn't pull away, just leans into the pressure of K's fingers against his shoulder. His voice is soft, almost fond.]

Yeah, it seems like it.

[He pulls back, but lest Kavinsky think that Ronan's pulling away from him, he just takes his dreamt sunglasses off, folding them and setting them on the hood of the car, before flicking his fingertips against the temple of K's shades, a slight hint of laughter to his voice.]

I'm not fucking making out with you with your shades on, asshole.

[Which was a way of saying- Ronan would kiss him again. If he wanted to. He just wanted to see his eyes when he did it.]

[Aidan was not the sort of boy that attended K's substance parties.

Except here he was on a Friday night, his old Toyota Corolla parked far away from the scene of the disaster he was about to walk into. Aidan didn't want someone to mistake it for another pile of junk to set on fire; it wasn't like he could afford another.

He doesn't really have street clothes, so he sticks out from the boys in everything from fishnets to tee-shirts. He's in a subtly striped button-down, rolled up to the elbows, and unbuttoned at the throat. But his hair is gelled back, and he looks more or less like any other Aglionby boy, if a bit over-dressed. He probably could have borrowed something if he'd asked someone. But if he were to talk to any of his friends, he would have had to admit to where he was going, talk about his mother or Elijah, and he doesn't want to do any of that. He doesn't know what he does want, either- not really.

Maybe he wants to see something burn.

The only thing out of place about him is that his knuckles are bruised and scabbed over. He'd found a construction site with a block of cement slats and punched them until they broke, but it just left him feeling empty, not better. He did manage not to break his hands, though. Aidan's a broken boy, alone and hurting, and this might not be someplace that he belongs, but it's .. something, at least. It feels less awful than doing his homework or trying to figure out his magic by himself on a Friday night.

Elijah is off at one of Dimitri's gatherings of his questionable friends, and Iris has her ghost-girlfriend, and so Aidan is just-- alone. So he comes here, instead. Not like he hadn't heard the rumors before. So when Kavinsky had told him to come at the end of their shared math class he'd said maybe, for some reason he still doesn't really understand.

He hadn't known if he'd do it or not.

But he ends up here once he got in his car, almost without really thinking about it. So now he's trying to keep the leather of his shoes out of the spilled beer and possibly more questionable drying liquids on the fields of the neglected fairgrounds. They almost seem to glitter under the summer heat and the bonfires. He sees Kavinsky on the hood of his car, and he walks over, hooking his thumbs into his pockets.]

You throw quite the party.

[Ugh. He would have gladly made out with his sunglasses on, mostly because he was high and the light was bright, but- there wasn't much he wouldn't suffer through for Ronan.]

Gonna make me suffer for the pleasure of kissing you, huh?

[It sounded more like a joke than like he really minded. And really, he didn't mind that much. Even if he squinted after he took off his sunglasses, setting them to the side.

His fingers drifted across Ronan's shoulder, up the side of his neck, to brush along the back of his head. His touch was almost feather-light, and not because he was worried about breaking Ronan. More like he was worried about spooking him and sending him running. He didn't want to ruin this moment.

He leaned in closer-]

Lucky for you, you're worth it.

[-and then kissed Ronan again.]

[It took him a second to recognize Aidan, but Kavinsky was pretty good with faces. Especially when he'd personally invited someone to one of his parties. He grinned, tipping his sunglasses down his nose a little as he looked the other boy up and down. He was a little overdressed for a party, but Kavinsky didn't really care about what people wore. He cared about the attitudes they brought and that they had fun.

Sitting up from where he was lounging, beer bottle in hand, he scooted over a little and patted the empty space next to him on the hood.]

It's one of my specialties.

[He knew what made a party fun. He knew what people wanted to see and do. He knew what he wanted out of a party. They were always more fun when something exploded or at least caught fire.

This guy though--Kavinsky couldn't tell if he was having fun or not. He planned on finding out. It was a good excuse to talk to him instead of 'you're hot'.]

Are you having a good time?

Just a little.

[Ronan grins, leaning in a little bit in anticipation. Fuck but he's beautiful. It makes his heartbeat hitch just to look at him, just thinking about-- And then he shivers with the way that Kavinsky's fingers trail from his shoulders up against his neck. It's feather-light, gentle in a way that makes his skin feel hyperaware of the contact.

Ronan reaches up to brush fingers against the side of Kavinsky's face, looking into his eyes. Touching just because he can, just because he doesn't have to hide it anymore. He's not running, even if his heart races in his chest and he knows there are all sorts of reasons why this is a bad idea.

But he's tipsy on beer and dreams and the proximity of the other boy. And he just doesn't care.

He flushes a little when Kavinsky tells him that he's worth it. And then the other dreamer kisses him, and Ronan kisses him back without hesitation. It's not as soft and sweet as the first time, it's want-want-want, even if he's not as good at it as K is, there's heat and enthusiasm. And Ronan is a fast learner.

But for the moment he just gives Kavinsky everything that he can, fingers curling into the short strands of his hair, his other hand splaying against the side of his ribs, clinging with all the desperation he's been hiding behind fists and clenched teeth and venom.]

[Aidan's face flushes a little at the way that the other boy looks him over, eyes sliding up and down his body like he's worth looking at. He can't help wondering if Kavinsky can see through him. If out of his carefully pressed uniform he's transparent, backlit by bonfires and decadence, if it gives him away as just middle class nothing. But instead the other boy sits and pats a space next to him on the hood of the car.

Aidan hesitates for a moment, but no- Kavinsky's intentions are pretty clear, so he carefully climbs up onto the hood of the car, taking a seat next to the other boy. Legs pulled up so he can gently brace his heels on the bumper, hands braced behind him to keep his fingers from fidgeting. He tries not to sit too close, but their shoulders brush just a little as he settles next to the other boy. It's impossible not to realize that Kavinsky is fiercely attractive, but somehow it feels worse when they're this close, so he looks out at the other faces, the flames.

Aidan is all fire and light himself, so while he's never been to one of these before-- well, there's something about the bonfires, the pulse of the music. They have similar tastes, even if few people would expect it from Aidan. But then people are always shocked when his temper flares and he punches them in the face, too.

He hums thoughtfully at the question, a slight tilt of his head as he looks at Kavinsky.]

Well, I just got here. But I figure it's definitely better than if I'd stayed home.

[He's not sure if there's a way to admit he'd never been to something like this before that didn't make him sound sad.]

[Kavinsky's words get under his skin, make him feel heated in a way that curls under his ribs. The idea that someone- anyone- thought he was attractive, would call people blind for not seeing it.. Adam didn't know how to put words to it, but it was a feeling he wanted to hold onto. He was greedy, even if he'd never say that outloud- not where Blue or Gansey could hear it. Neither of whom seemed to understand what it was like to have want eating you alive.

But when Kavinsky tugs him closer, fingers at the back of his neck, until they're close, so close he can feel his breath on his lips, and then touching... Adam doesn't pull away. He leans into him, into the contact of lips on lips until they're kissing, all heat and want. And for a moment, he doesn't feel alone, doesn't feel angry and ugly and unknowable.

The idea that Kavinsky of all people might think he was hot, might want Adam Parrish-- But with heat on his skin and the other boy's mouth against his, it's hard to think of anything except for this, how it feels. It's not his first kiss, but it's also been a while since there was someone that wanted him enough for it. It had been back before Aglionby, when everyone around him spoke with that Henrietta curl to their words.

Adam's fingers tremble against Kavinsky's shoulder, and there's a desperation in how he melts into the kiss, his heartbeat racing. It's not just that he wants to be wanted, but Kavinsky is gorgeous and as much as parties have never been something he's been attracted to, it's the first time in a while he's felt awake in his own skin.]

[Kavinsky didn't give a single flying fuck how good or bad Ronan was at kissing. Inexperience was endearing in this case and he would gladly teach the other boy through practice. Really, it would just be an excuse to kiss even more.

He wanted more than kissing, and for a change he didn't mean sex, though he wanted that, too. He wanted to be able to call Ronan his, to know that even if they fought or Ronan ghosted him or whatever, he'd still have the other boy. At the same time, he was a little afraid that Ronan might not want that, that this was just kissing in the heat of the moment, figuratively and literally.]

I want you- [Kavinsky murmured in between kisses.] As in- [Not how Ronan would probably take it. It was easy to default to sex when Kavinsky was that kind of person, but.] -I want you to be my boyfriend.

[He'd never had a boyfriend before, not really, but he wanted Ronan more than he wanted to live. He needed him like he needed to breathe. And maybe he was in love but he was keeping that card close to his chest for now. He was sure talking about something like that would scare Ronan away.]

[Kavinsky had no real concept of personal space, so he didn't mind how close Aidan sat to him. In fact, he leaned over a little to nudge him with his shoulder after he spoke.]

I'm glad you decided to show. A party's always better than staying at home.

[Especially if it was one of Kavinsky's parties. But also if Aidan had just gotten here, that meant he hadn't had anything to drink yet. That would change if Kavinsky had anything to say about it.]

Do you want a drink? I could get one for you.

[By which he meant he could get someone else to get it, but that was close enough. Drinking was more or less a party staple, even if someone had driven here. Drugs were an added bonus, but he wouldn't press that subject.]

[There was so much of the Barns that was a dream. Sometimes Ronan wondered if the buildings themselves had been sprung from his father's head. They probably had. There was something about having Kavinsky here, about having the other boys here.

He ghosts a kiss against his mouth with a low sigh and a touch of a smile.]

I know. And that's fucked. But.. this is a place for dreams and dreamers.

[He wasn't asking him to move in; wouldn't take him away from his kingdom, from his parties to live out in the fields and trees. Couldn't take him away from the rest of his pack. But he couldn't look at him and not feel like Kavinsky belonged here, or could- if he wanted to. A place where they could dream, where they could fill the barns and fields with wonders.

Although he felt sort of like the way Kavinsky made him feel was a wonder all its own.]

[Kavinsky sighed softly, content with the kiss. He could feel Adam's fingers trembling on his shoulder and brushed his thumb gently against the back of the other boy's neck, soothing.

Reaching out with his other hand, he pressed his fingers against Adam's hip, coaxing him closer, into Kavinsky's lap if he could. He wasn't as pushy as he could have been, which had more to do with the drugs than not wanting to spook Adam. He could pull away if he wanted; Kavinsky wouldn't stop him. But he wanted to feel the warmth of his body, curl his arms around his waist.

He was feeling needy, greedy, and cuddly. There was also the foolish hope that Adam's closeness would help with the aching in his head. Maybe he'd be a distraction. He was already distracting, but- things could be better.]

You could be one of my boys. [He murmured.]

[Kavinsky chased Ronan's mouth, giving him a proper kiss before making a thoughtful noise.]

Does that mean I'm welcome here?

[He didn't mean just today, because of course he was welcome right now, but. If he wanted to visit in the future, if he wanted to spend time here... Just the idea made him feel- not quite nostalgic, because that would imply he'd been in a place that felt like home before, but more like belonging. If this was a place for dreams and dreamers, if Ronan made him welcome...then maybe he did belong here.]

What if I want to surprise you some time, just show up?

[Or spend the night, maybe. That sounded nice, too.]

[He murmured softly against the other boy's mouth, something about the way that his fingers brushed against the back of his neck soothing an ache that Adam didn't even really want to admit to.

There's something intoxicating about this, about being close to someone, about feeling- he doesn't quite know. Feeling wanted, desired. Like Kavinsky- untouchable dark king of Henrietta- thought that Adam Parrish was worth wanting. Maybe this is a bad idea, but it's one that he can't resist. Letting the other boy's fingers on his hips urge him closer until he's in his lap, knees pressing to K's hips.

They're pressed so close and it somehow feels almost more intimate than kissing. His fingers slide against his ribs through his shirt, his other hand shifting to cup the side of his face and then trail down against the side of his neck. This felt illicit; but Adam couldn't help wanting to hold onto it anyway. The words Kavinsky says seem almost impossible; he's not like them. Doesn't have a car for street racing, has far too contentious a relationship with alcohol and violence for these things to ever be easy.

The idea of belonging to someone isn't easy for him, either- the desire to not be alone, warring with his need to stand on his own feet. But it feels less like control, less like being a thing that Kavinsky would owns than the sentiment does when it's coming from Gansey. Or maybe that's just how he justifies it to himself. So he's wary but he doesn't flinch, doesn't pull away.

Instead he traces fingers against his skin, his eyes sharp and intense with hardly any space between them. He's already in over his head, but he tries to pretend he has a handle on this, on his own desires.]

And what would that look like? What do you want?

[He leaned into Adam's touch, making a soft sound, barely audible over everything else. Looping his arms around Adam's waist, he settled his hands on his back, thumbs brushing up and down.

It was a good question and he took a moment to consider it, doing his best to string thoughts together when he was high like this. He probably should've been sipping on the water Adam had brought him, but that required moving and effort and just ugh. He pulled his thoughts back to the matter at hand, the questions Adam had asked.]

I want your loyalty. [And in exchange he would give Adam everything. Kavinsky didn't think he'd take it, though.] I want you at my parties and in my car. [And maybe in his bed, but that was a different hurdle.]

I'm saying-- be a good friend.

[It sounded a little silly when he said it like that, but it was still true.]

All of my boys struggled, you know. They were all lonely and broken, and I- [He broke off, hesitated, tried to find the right way to word things.] -I know what it's like. I could make sure no one ever lays hands on you again. We're like a family.

['Family' might not have been entirely accurate, considering Skov and Swan were dating and his own sexual relationship with Prokopenko, but. They relied on each other, trusted each other.

He wanted Adam at his side, too. It was partly out of spite, if he was being honest, but there was so much more to it than that. He wanted to take what Gansey had, bit by bit, but he wouldn't stop Adam from being friends with the other boy, either. He wasn't going to cut him off from people.]

well can't say I mind when you spoil me

[Maybe it was sad.

Kavinsky was different from Gansey, made him feel-- he still didn't quite know how to put it into words. But he made his chest feel light, made him feel alive, almost electric. Special.

Sometimes he even felt that way just hanging out with the other boys, Jiang and Skov and Swan and even Proko. Not that he didn't want to help Gansey find his King, but it had never mattered to him the way it did the others. He didn't need the favor, didn't need anyone to prove to him that magic was real. He had wanted to find Glendower because Gansey wanted it, and there was something charming about following him. But Kavinsky was--

This was what Ronan needed.]

yeah?
well let me finish getting my stuff together and then you can prove it

and maybe I'll put on that show for you

[Adam can't help the way that he sighs as Kavinsky's arms curl around his waist, the repetitive slide of his fingertips a reassuring touch. He asks for loyalty, for friendship, for family. Maybe it should feel possessive. Maybe he should flinch at being called broken. But there's something in the way that he frames it- not that Adam is a broken thing for Kavinsky to play savior for, the way it always felt with Gansey. But instead he says it like Kavinsky and his boys were all lonely and broken, and they could save each other.

And that's something that Adam thinks that even his pride could live with. Because it sounds like Kavinsky isn't asking for anything that he's not willing to give.]

Maybe. Which isn't.. I'm not saying no, okay? You should ask me again when you're a little more coherent.

[His tone isn't cruel, and he doesn't stop touching him, doesn't lean away from the other boy. He knew that Kavinsky was more or less always at least a little bit high, but twenty minutes ago he'd been texting him about how he didn't know what he took, but not to let him have any more. And this was complicated for Adam. It wasn't the sort of thing that he could just say yes to.

And right now he really wanted him to kiss him again.

Kavinsky felt... he didn't know how to put it in words exactly, but he's not in the other boy's lap just because he knows that it will scorch Blue and Gansey to their bones. But the other boy is fiercely attractive and captivating, and he can't help the feeling that he is more than the rumors, more than he seems. The ways that he makes such an effort not to spook Adam, to make sure he feels safe, when everyone else in his life had to be taught.

He can't resist wanting to know him better, to see what he hides.]

But maybe.

Edited 2022-01-31 03:57 (UTC)

good
cause I like spoiling you

[It was his love language. He might have been shitty about expressing himself with words sometimes, but giving people things? He could do that easily and expect nothing in return except affection.]

okay
I'll be waiting

[Kavinsky sure as hell wasn't anyone's savior. He liked to think that he gave his boys the tools to save themselves, instead. A social safety net, a support system, a safe place. People they could lean on when they needed someone. Or just someone to get high with.

Adam didn't look like he needed a savior, maybe just a shoulder to lean on sometimes, people who understood what it was like when things were hard. Kavinsky and his boys might have been rich but money didn't eliminate all of their problems. Money didn't stop abuse or bullying or being alone.

He nodded slowly when Adam said maybe. He wasn't disappointed; he hadn't expected a yes right away. In fact, a 'maybe' was promising.]

Okay.

[That was it. He wasn't going to argue about it or push the subject. He'd presented his offer and Adam probably needed time to think about it. Alongside that, Kavinsky probably needed someplace quiet to make his head stop aching. The living room in the middle of a party wasn't really the right place for it.]

I should probably lie down. You gonna keep me company?

[He was absolutely asking Adam to climb into bed with him in his room, but he wasn't asking for sex. It wasn't like he could drive Adam home right now, anyway, so what would it hurt if he stayed the night in Kavinsky's room? As far as the party went- he'd just have to find Proko and tell him to make sure everyone was kicked out after a certain time. And that they didn't trash the house too much.]

I wont let you get too impatient

[And it doesn't take Ronan too long to finish getting his things together, although the drive from Singer Falls back to Henrietta feels like it takes forever this time, and his fingers are twitchy on the steering wheel. He brings Chainsaw, and her cage, because if he's planning to stay for a while he's not leaving her alone at the Barns, even if he knows she's smart enough to be okay.

She'd be bored though, and angry at him when he got back. And who knows what trouble she'd cause just to make sure he knew she was cross.

Thus, she comes with him. Even if he's a little horrified at the thought of her picking up Kavinsky's language. He'll just pray she's curious enough about the new surroundings to avoid any interest in his colorful phrases. He hasn't caught her attempting Gansey's excelsior or anything, so he might be lucky.

So he parks the BMW, and then he's knocking on the door with what's clearly an overnight bag, a raven on his shoulders, and her cage sitting on the front steps by his feet. His heart raced in his chest.]

[Kavinsky wasted time around the house until Ronan was at the front door. At some point or another, he got bored but it was more or less entirely forgotten about as soon as he opened the door. Leaning against the doorframe, barefoot and dressed in old, slightly ratty clothes, he grinned.]

Hey, good looking.

[Opening the door wider, he stepped to the side to make room. He almost asked if Ronan needed help with anything, but it didn't look like he had much and he did have two hands.]

[Ronan isn't alone when he brings Gansey the Camaro.

There's Henrietta's dark king, all sharp grin and white-rimmed sunglasses. Gansey bristles, but it's hard not to soften a little when Ronan admits that Kavinsky had helped him dream back his Camaro. Hard not to flush a little thinking about the fact that he was forever acquainted with what the other boy's dick looked like, too. He palmed a hand across his face and then busied himself trailing his hands against the lines of the Pig, like he was either looking for a fault, or just reacquainting himself with his car.

It had been a mistake to leave it at all. He should have known better, truly.

So it comes out that K is a dreamer too. And Gansey tells him about Cabeswater. Ronan's afraid that it's the dreaming that's eating at it, but it's Adam and Persephone that bring the ley line back to life. It sizzles back into being, powerful as a tidal wave, in the middle of the night on the 4th of July.

But Gansey and Kavinsky aren't friends.

He's just- he's someone that happens to show up at Monmouth on occasion. That comes with them to Cabeswater on occasion. That Gansey has even allowed to ride in the Pig once or twice. That he has had painful conversations with Declan about. So he supposes they're more than acquaintances. And he's come to accept that the other boy isn't nearly as soulless as he had assumed. He was dangerously handsome when he wasn't being horrible, and his aversion to wearing a shirt in the summer months while Gansey sweltered in his polo shirts didn't help him avoid that awareness.

Of course, the truth had always been that his cruelty was a mask over his jealousy. The fact that Kavinsky could steal Ronan's attention, seemed capable of offering him something that Gansey couldn't got under his skin, made him want to push him out of Ronan's life. He didn't quite understand how he'd ended up tangled in Gansey's, too.

Except Kavinsky isn't the reason that Monmouth is empty.

It's one in the morning- just before Halloween- and Monmouth is empty because Ronan is spending the weekend at a little apartment above St. Agnes. And Gansey, best-friend to both boys, has to smile about it. Kavinsky might have misjudged Ronan's affections, but he hadn't misjudged Gansey. Not even his model Henrietta holds his attention tonight. He'd had a crush on him when Niall had died -- how could you be close to Ronan and not be a little in love with him? But Ronan had needed a friend, a brother, needed him to be anything else. And so he had.

Texting Kavinsky was a mistake.

Because he ends up with him in his space, looking at Gansey like he knows why he texted him. And he doesn't like the idea that Joseph understands him better than his best-friends.]

I'm not used to being alone.

[He murmurs it like this doesn't feel like fishing for a bad idea. It does but Gansey is willing to ignore that voice for now.]

[Kavinsky shrugged, hands in his pockets. It was the only way he could keep them to himself, if he was being honest- and he usually was, which always seemed to surprise people.]

I am. It fucking sucks, doesn't it?

[He was used to it, but he hated it. It was why he surrounded himself with friends and threw so many parties. Speaking of, he had an epic one planned for Halloween. He was looking forward to it. It'd put a dent in his depression for a while, distract him from feeling utterly alone. He had another distraction right now though in the most unexpected form.

He wasn't sure what he had going on with Gansey, though he was pretty sure he'd been shunted to the side by Lynch. Which was- it was fine, it was whatever. They were still friends at least, and that was... well, it wasn't the dream, but it was enough to soothe some of the ache in his chest.]

What d'you expect me to do about it?

[He wasn't usually the guy people texted or called for company-unless it was sex-but he was almost flattered that Gansey had reached out to him. The other boy might not have been as bad as Kavinsky'd always figured he was, but he still wanted to take him down a peg or two sometimes.

He might have taken a chance to (gently) needle at Gansey, but Kavinsky was still there. He'd still answered and shown up. That was probably the most telling part, when he easily could've told Gansey to (literally) go fuck himself. He'd certainly told his boys the same thing plenty of times when he hadn't been in the mood for their bullshit.]

Yeah, it does.

[He'd say something about how K seemed like the center of everyone's attention, but Gansey of all people knows how transient that is. There's a difference between having people in your life and having people that know who you are. So he doesn't have to ask how Kavinsky can feel alone.

Whatever sort of strange not-quite-friends they were, it wasn't a dynamic where Gansey attended Kavinsky's parties. He knew about the Halloween party, of course. One of the costs of being popular, of maintaining his odd interests as something quirky and not social paraiah was knowing how to have the right conversations. But Aglionby parties weren't things Gansey indulged in, and Kavinsky's parties seemed even riskier.

But Halloween was one of his favorite holidays. The costumes, the illusion of getting out of your own skin, the mythology and mystery of All Hallows Eve, the Day of the Dead. The chill on the wind that rustled the brightly colored Virginia foliage. The prelude to the holiday season, samhain, magic. He was almost lonely enough to consider it.]

You're- company, at least. Ronan's spending the weekend with Adam and this place feels too quiet when there's no one around.

[If you hadn't seen Gansey outside of school, the Gansey of wild impossible quests and fervent dreams, favors and dead kings, it would be almost impossible to catch the touch of bitterness. It's that clipped edge of old Virginia money, instead of the exuberance of Gansey the scholar. He never would have allowed himself the luxury to his friends, but Kavinsky wasn't a friend. He was- something else.

Noah surely has enough power to be around when he wants, but even he's been scarce. Maybe it's because he knows what bothers him, or maybe there's more interesting things for him to spy on.

And the truth is that he does appreciate the fact that Kavinsky shows up. The other boy had a half dozen reasons to tell him to fuck off, to not bother with Gansey's troubles. But he's here. Gansey shifts a little awkwardly, looking a little too long at the other boy before focusing on the cover of one of his worn history books. The stack was mostly books pertaining to Glendower, but also unevenly spaced between superhero comics and what looked to be a playboy swimsuit issue he'd gotten bored of but hadn't thrown away.

It was one in the morning, so he hadn't had an idea, anything particular in mind once Kavinsky got here. Just- anything at all that wasn't leaving him kicking around in his own head, falling into the black hole in his heart. He was restless, his body all coiled energy and nothing to do with it. He doesn't say I can't sleep, but it's still true. Usually he'd sit on the floor and Ronan would wander out and they'd pass some of the hours in companionable insomnia.

Instead Kavinsky's here. Which feels risky for reasons Gansey doesn't want to consider too closely. And the other boy is dangerous and lovely, like holding a knife by the blade.]

--You any good at pool?

[He smiled at the other boy, but it wasn't his polished politician's smile, it was something ruffled and uneven and a little bit sharp. The side of him limited to these midnight hours, surely. The boy who gets all wound up in his own anxieties, that used to have to talk to Adam to unravel himself.]

[Being the center of attention wasn't the same thing as not being alone. People usually wanted him for what he could do for them, not who he was beyond that. He'd felt like no one else would really understand him until he'd found out Ronan was the same as him. And then that had...well, it hadn't fallen apart, really, but it wasn't what he'd imagined. Of course, he hadn't imagined he'd be standing here at one in the morning with Dick Gansey, either.

He lifted an eyebrow when Gansey said he was company, at least and held back an amused snort. Sometimes, it felt like they were still walking on eggshells around each other, still combating the whole 'I kind of used to hate you' thing.]

You really asked me over without any plan, didn't you.

[It was an amusing idea, but also a little- touching? It was nice to not always have a purpose for something or a span of time.

Making a thoughtful noise, he stepped over to brush his fingers along the edge of the pool table, and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined bending Gansey over it at least once already.]

Yeah, I've played a little.

[He conceded after a moment, looking over at Gansey again.]

I didn't figure you as one for billiards, Dick.

[For a moment, he did his best impression of Gansey's southern accent. It wasn't too bad, actually, but was definitely exaggerated. He couldn't help having a little fun at the other boy's expense.]

[It had happened a few months ago. They'd run into each other at a party, which was nearly impossible in and of itself, as Gansey didn't typically attend Aglionby parties. But it was a Crew thing, and he'd mostly been hoping that he might find Ronan and be able to drag him home early before he got himself into too much trouble. But Ronan had apparently found another venue for drinking his feelings away.

Instead he'd ended up with a nearly empty red plastic cup, and Kavinsky making lewd comments. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe he was just tired of it but he'd told him to either do something about it or shut up.

Kavinsky had not shut up.
In truth, Gansey didn't think he'd really wanted him to.

He didn't let himself think of it, most of the time. Buried the awareness of it too deep for it to infect his conscious thoughts- most of the time. But it was there, behind his thoughts, it found him when he was alone. The fact that this was the year he was going to die.

So he lets the other boy kiss him. He kisses him back. And they fall into -- whatever this thing is that they have. They're not dating, not really. But they're something. It's a secret he keeps tucked away, even if he smiles when the other boy texts him. Finds excuses for long drives in the Camaro, and doesn't mention when they end up at Kavinsky's house in the suburbs.

And Gansey isn't stupid. He knows that Kavinsky is chaos incarnate. There's no way this ends that isn't messy, but Gansey lets himself believe that he can keep it together for just a little longer. It was only supposed to be a few kisses one night that no one would ever know about. But it's easy to draw it out, to give them another week, another month, until the end of the summer.

So Gansey knows this is going to explode in his face. He just can't help himself.

It's late when Gansey makes it back to the substance party, but that's the idea. When most of the party-goers have either drifted off or found a space on the ground to pass out on. He'd told Kavinsky earlier that he wouldn't be able to stop by before he left for DC, but he doesn't think he'll be able to sleep before Helen picks them up anyway.

So he's here. The Camaro parked far enough away so he doesn't have to worry about broken glass or stray flames, and he walks the rest of the way. He doesn't quite know what he's going to say, because earlier ignited a complicated cocktail of feelings that are still smoldering under his skin. Namely jealousy. He doesn't entirely know if it was Ronan, or the drunk girl that had been next to him in the car-- but Gansey was not supposed to be jealous about Joseph Kavinsky.

It was supposed to be a distraction, just a chance to feel something in case he never got the chance. But he was realizing that he cared, wished he could bring him with him to DC and laugh behind the back of every oil baron and political hopeful. He'd never ask, but he suspected Kavinsky could clean up nice, if he wanted to.

Gansey was in way over his head. He'd known Kavinsky was trouble, he just thought that trouble was limited to streetracing with Ronan. Not his heart.

Thankfully, Kavinsky is easy to pick out in a crowd, especially since it's mostly just embers. Just K and his dogs, leaning against Swan's Golf. There's a spark in Gansey's smile, still the hint of the boy from earlier. That quiet truth that if you dug deep enough there was a side to him that wasn't proper at all.]

Sorry I'm late.

[He's not sorry; and technically he's not even really late since he hadn't planned on coming at all. He just- he'd needed to see him. God, he's a mess.]

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substance party shenanigans;

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the one where k lives;

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something something substance party;