[Kavinsky leans his head on his shoulder, and Ronan doesn't pull away from him. He lets his other hand slide up his back in what's clearly intended to be comfort. But it's also affection, because he loves this boy. He's loved him since the first race, the first party, the first bonfire where he could feel how much he burned. there's also the warmth of desire in his fingertips, even if he isn't acting on it, trying to keep it as quiet as he can.
But Ronan has never been good at keeping his own secrets, and neither are his dreams.]
You don't have to know. I know this is fucked.
[He doesn't push him, or he tries anyway. He doesn't push him away, but he also doesn't gather him in his arms, even if he's tempted to. He doesn't ask if he can kiss him, but god he wants to. He wants to believe that he can twist this world into something where he's enough. Where Kavinsky can be hurt without dying from it.]
I couldn't help it. I wanted to try and make a better ending.
[He likes the fire, and there's a thrill at the chaos, but losing Kavinsky.. it would never be worth it. And it wasn't like things had ended well for Ronan, or for the world, either. So fixing things-- it could only make things better. He thought that he was more important than he knew.]
no subject
But Ronan has never been good at keeping his own secrets, and neither are his dreams.]
You don't have to know. I know this is fucked.
[He doesn't push him, or he tries anyway. He doesn't push him away, but he also doesn't gather him in his arms, even if he's tempted to. He doesn't ask if he can kiss him, but god he wants to. He wants to believe that he can twist this world into something where he's enough. Where Kavinsky can be hurt without dying from it.]
I couldn't help it. I wanted to try and make a better ending.
[He likes the fire, and there's a thrill at the chaos, but losing Kavinsky.. it would never be worth it. And it wasn't like things had ended well for Ronan, or for the world, either. So fixing things-- it could only make things better. He thought that he was more important than he knew.]