[He knows that he hurt him, and he hates it. He wants to fix it, to just tell him that he wants him, but he feels like that might be too much all at once. So he takes a few steps closer, bridging some of the distance between them, his blue eyes bright as he looks at Kavinsky. Like the other boy hasn't kidnapped his brother, like he wasn't confused about what he wanted. Like even if Ronan's here to stop him, this isn't a fight.]
I don't want it to end like this.
[Kavinsky was impossible not to want. He burned as bright as Ronan. They could be kings. And he was so alone. Who else burned bright enough for a dream? Who might understand the strange creature that he was? Of course he loved him. He hadn't known how to reach out to him, but he does now. So he's trying, trying to do this better. To find a way where this doesn't end in fire, in the end of a boy who should have been so much more.]
Look, I know I did. I fucked up.
[He drags a hand against his shaved head, because this isn't easy. There's no part of Ronan that's good at this sort of thing. At talking, at saying the words, at admitting where things went wrong. But he's trying, because it matters. Because he wants this to matter, to smooth his death out into something else.]
no subject
I don't want it to end like this.
[Kavinsky was impossible not to want. He burned as bright as Ronan. They could be kings. And he was so alone. Who else burned bright enough for a dream? Who might understand the strange creature that he was? Of course he loved him. He hadn't known how to reach out to him, but he does now. So he's trying, trying to do this better. To find a way where this doesn't end in fire, in the end of a boy who should have been so much more.]
Look, I know I did. I fucked up.
[He drags a hand against his shaved head, because this isn't easy. There's no part of Ronan that's good at this sort of thing. At talking, at saying the words, at admitting where things went wrong. But he's trying, because it matters. Because he wants this to matter, to smooth his death out into something else.]
Kavinsky. Please.