[Saying he was drunk wouldn't be inaccurate, really. He felt like he was, honestly. Like he'd had a few shots too many, except that the feel of it was different, more a clear sort of thrill, high in a way that wasn't all blurred around the edges, but still left him reeling, his words a little rough. Holding onto the other boy to keep himself steady. And there was something about all of this that left him aching, his skin warm under Kavinsky's touch- the way those fingers trailed along his spine almost electric, but also strangely soothing. He'd never felt like this before. Something about Skov and Swan, and about being here with Kavinsky, body pressed close and straddled across his lap. Fingers on his skin.
A week ago this would have been unthinkable, almost more like horror. But now it was a sharp sort of pleasure. He felt like he fit here, with them. It felt like home. Not that he didn't have one back in Texas, but that was complicated. It was hard for a place to feel like home when you always knew you were going to leave it, when Eli spent more time away than walking the halls.
If he hadn't already been flushed, he would have at the question. But as it is he just nods, bites his lip for a moment, and then tries to put it into words.]
Yeah. Not the first round, but.. the second one. I used to pull away before it got.. obvious, I guess. But this time it was- different. I figured it out. And I dunno. I sort of wanted it, I guess? Even if I still don't quite know what I was looking for.
[Good is what he means when he says different, but he doesn't quite know how to say that yet. But he'd realized it was like foreplay and done it anyway. Breathless and heart racing, flirting back with Skov. But then maybe some of their sharp edges weren't really so different. He's still working it out, trying to figure out what he feels -- and why the thrill and the heat is almost more now that he's curled up here with Kavinsky, than it had been before.
He doesn't flinch or deny it when K says that he likes it. He just arches slowly into his touch, a flutter of his lashes, the way he slides up his spine making his body shift with the heat of it. It feels sort of like Kavinsky has him on a string, in a way that he likes. It makes him feel like he wont fall.]
Yeah. I like it when I'm here, anyway.
[Whether he means here with Kavinsky, or here with the pack, the only boys he could imagine doing this sort of thing with-- he doesn't clarify. But he probably doesn't really need to, when the answer is both.
Although the truth isn't just that Elijah's never played rough like this before. He's never done anything sexual with another person before, even if he'd usually die before admitting to it. He's never trusted anyone enough; either to let them that close, or to talk about it. But all of a sudden that was changing, and there were these lovely boys that he cared about more than he could spell out. And then there was Kavinsky. Beautiful and sharper than the rest. And he touched dreams. And he touched Eli in a way that felt different, made him want things he didn't yet know how to ask for.
People might not think of K as a safe space, but he feels safe to Elijah, anyway.]
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A week ago this would have been unthinkable, almost more like horror. But now it was a sharp sort of pleasure. He felt like he fit here, with them. It felt like home. Not that he didn't have one back in Texas, but that was complicated. It was hard for a place to feel like home when you always knew you were going to leave it, when Eli spent more time away than walking the halls.
If he hadn't already been flushed, he would have at the question. But as it is he just nods, bites his lip for a moment, and then tries to put it into words.]
Yeah. Not the first round, but.. the second one. I used to pull away before it got.. obvious, I guess. But this time it was- different. I figured it out. And I dunno. I sort of wanted it, I guess? Even if I still don't quite know what I was looking for.
[Good is what he means when he says different, but he doesn't quite know how to say that yet. But he'd realized it was like foreplay and done it anyway. Breathless and heart racing, flirting back with Skov. But then maybe some of their sharp edges weren't really so different. He's still working it out, trying to figure out what he feels -- and why the thrill and the heat is almost more now that he's curled up here with Kavinsky, than it had been before.
He doesn't flinch or deny it when K says that he likes it. He just arches slowly into his touch, a flutter of his lashes, the way he slides up his spine making his body shift with the heat of it. It feels sort of like Kavinsky has him on a string, in a way that he likes. It makes him feel like he wont fall.]
Yeah. I like it when I'm here, anyway.
[Whether he means here with Kavinsky, or here with the pack, the only boys he could imagine doing this sort of thing with-- he doesn't clarify. But he probably doesn't really need to, when the answer is both.
Although the truth isn't just that Elijah's never played rough like this before. He's never done anything sexual with another person before, even if he'd usually die before admitting to it. He's never trusted anyone enough; either to let them that close, or to talk about it. But all of a sudden that was changing, and there were these lovely boys that he cared about more than he could spell out. And then there was Kavinsky. Beautiful and sharper than the rest. And he touched dreams. And he touched Eli in a way that felt different, made him want things he didn't yet know how to ask for.
People might not think of K as a safe space, but he feels safe to Elijah, anyway.]
You make it- even more. Better.