[He'd say something about how K seemed like the center of everyone's attention, but Gansey of all people knows how transient that is. There's a difference between having people in your life and having people that know who you are. So he doesn't have to ask how Kavinsky can feel alone.
Whatever sort of strange not-quite-friends they were, it wasn't a dynamic where Gansey attended Kavinsky's parties. He knew about the Halloween party, of course. One of the costs of being popular, of maintaining his odd interests as something quirky and not social paraiah was knowing how to have the right conversations. But Aglionby parties weren't things Gansey indulged in, and Kavinsky's parties seemed even riskier.
But Halloween was one of his favorite holidays. The costumes, the illusion of getting out of your own skin, the mythology and mystery of All Hallows Eve, the Day of the Dead. The chill on the wind that rustled the brightly colored Virginia foliage. The prelude to the holiday season, samhain, magic. He was almost lonely enough to consider it.]
You're- company, at least. Ronan's spending the weekend with Adam and this place feels too quiet when there's no one around.
[If you hadn't seen Gansey outside of school, the Gansey of wild impossible quests and fervent dreams, favors and dead kings, it would be almost impossible to catch the touch of bitterness. It's that clipped edge of old Virginia money, instead of the exuberance of Gansey the scholar. He never would have allowed himself the luxury to his friends, but Kavinsky wasn't a friend. He was- something else.
Noah surely has enough power to be around when he wants, but even he's been scarce. Maybe it's because he knows what bothers him, or maybe there's more interesting things for him to spy on.
And the truth is that he does appreciate the fact that Kavinsky shows up. The other boy had a half dozen reasons to tell him to fuck off, to not bother with Gansey's troubles. But he's here. Gansey shifts a little awkwardly, looking a little too long at the other boy before focusing on the cover of one of his worn history books. The stack was mostly books pertaining to Glendower, but also unevenly spaced between superhero comics and what looked to be a playboy swimsuit issue he'd gotten bored of but hadn't thrown away.
It was one in the morning, so he hadn't had an idea, anything particular in mind once Kavinsky got here. Just- anything at all that wasn't leaving him kicking around in his own head, falling into the black hole in his heart. He was restless, his body all coiled energy and nothing to do with it. He doesn't say I can't sleep, but it's still true. Usually he'd sit on the floor and Ronan would wander out and they'd pass some of the hours in companionable insomnia.
Instead Kavinsky's here. Which feels risky for reasons Gansey doesn't want to consider too closely. And the other boy is dangerous and lovely, like holding a knife by the blade.]
--You any good at pool?
[He smiled at the other boy, but it wasn't his polished politician's smile, it was something ruffled and uneven and a little bit sharp. The side of him limited to these midnight hours, surely. The boy who gets all wound up in his own anxieties, that used to have to talk to Adam to unravel himself.]
no subject
[He'd say something about how K seemed like the center of everyone's attention, but Gansey of all people knows how transient that is. There's a difference between having people in your life and having people that know who you are. So he doesn't have to ask how Kavinsky can feel alone.
Whatever sort of strange not-quite-friends they were, it wasn't a dynamic where Gansey attended Kavinsky's parties. He knew about the Halloween party, of course. One of the costs of being popular, of maintaining his odd interests as something quirky and not social paraiah was knowing how to have the right conversations. But Aglionby parties weren't things Gansey indulged in, and Kavinsky's parties seemed even riskier.
But Halloween was one of his favorite holidays. The costumes, the illusion of getting out of your own skin, the mythology and mystery of All Hallows Eve, the Day of the Dead. The chill on the wind that rustled the brightly colored Virginia foliage. The prelude to the holiday season, samhain, magic. He was almost lonely enough to consider it.]
You're- company, at least. Ronan's spending the weekend with Adam and this place feels too quiet when there's no one around.
[If you hadn't seen Gansey outside of school, the Gansey of wild impossible quests and fervent dreams, favors and dead kings, it would be almost impossible to catch the touch of bitterness. It's that clipped edge of old Virginia money, instead of the exuberance of Gansey the scholar. He never would have allowed himself the luxury to his friends, but Kavinsky wasn't a friend. He was- something else.
Noah surely has enough power to be around when he wants, but even he's been scarce. Maybe it's because he knows what bothers him, or maybe there's more interesting things for him to spy on.
And the truth is that he does appreciate the fact that Kavinsky shows up. The other boy had a half dozen reasons to tell him to fuck off, to not bother with Gansey's troubles. But he's here. Gansey shifts a little awkwardly, looking a little too long at the other boy before focusing on the cover of one of his worn history books. The stack was mostly books pertaining to Glendower, but also unevenly spaced between superhero comics and what looked to be a playboy swimsuit issue he'd gotten bored of but hadn't thrown away.
It was one in the morning, so he hadn't had an idea, anything particular in mind once Kavinsky got here. Just- anything at all that wasn't leaving him kicking around in his own head, falling into the black hole in his heart. He was restless, his body all coiled energy and nothing to do with it. He doesn't say I can't sleep, but it's still true. Usually he'd sit on the floor and Ronan would wander out and they'd pass some of the hours in companionable insomnia.
Instead Kavinsky's here. Which feels risky for reasons Gansey doesn't want to consider too closely. And the other boy is dangerous and lovely, like holding a knife by the blade.]
--You any good at pool?
[He smiled at the other boy, but it wasn't his polished politician's smile, it was something ruffled and uneven and a little bit sharp. The side of him limited to these midnight hours, surely. The boy who gets all wound up in his own anxieties, that used to have to talk to Adam to unravel himself.]