[Kavinsky was well acquainted with thinking of yourself as a monster. No one deserved to be called one just because of what they were. Some things couldn't be changed or controlled, and what you were was one of them. Who you were was a different matter entirely, and he was much more willing to judge people based on it.]
You need me?
[He was about to ask 'why' again when Dimitri continued. Oh. Being alone and not wanting to be alone was something that resonated with him. It was--it was why he was so determined to bend Ronan to his side, why his rejection hurt so much. Maybe Ronan didn't need to be around another dreamer but Kavinsky did. He was a freak of nature, he didn't know where he came from, what had caused him to be born the way he was, and he just... he was so tired of being alone. So tired he could feel it in his bones.
He'd struggled for so many years with the feeling, grappled with depression that stemmed from it. He felt alone even when he was surrounded by people, in the middle of a party, in the middle of class. He only felt like he wasn't really alone in certain moments. Sharing a bed with Prokopenko or the rest of his boys, racing with Ronan, dreaming with Ronan...doing anything with the other dreamer, really. More than that, Ronan had made him feel alive. But Ronan wasn't here right now and Dimitri was.
There was something intimate about their vulnerability, the fact that either of them could easily ruin the moment with sharp words. Kavinsky didn't like feeling vulnerable, but he was already raw, almost to his core. Ronan had hurt him, left him feeling unbalanced.
Fuck it.]
Let's not be alone, then. You and me, we could be... fuck.
[He pushed a hand under his sunglasses, pressing his fingers against one eye while he sucked in a breath.]
Stick with me, you'll never have to be alone again.
[He didn't know exactly what he was suggesting. Some sort of friendship, some kind of bond. He wasn't sure if Dimitri needed to be pulled under his wing, if he was as damaged as the rest of Kavinsky's boys were, but... The offer was there, if Dimitri wanted to take it. There was only one drawback, besides the fact Kavinsky didn't handle rejection well; he didn't accept social breakups. If you were in, you were in for the long haul.]
no subject
You need me?
[He was about to ask 'why' again when Dimitri continued. Oh. Being alone and not wanting to be alone was something that resonated with him. It was--it was why he was so determined to bend Ronan to his side, why his rejection hurt so much. Maybe Ronan didn't need to be around another dreamer but Kavinsky did. He was a freak of nature, he didn't know where he came from, what had caused him to be born the way he was, and he just... he was so tired of being alone. So tired he could feel it in his bones.
He'd struggled for so many years with the feeling, grappled with depression that stemmed from it. He felt alone even when he was surrounded by people, in the middle of a party, in the middle of class. He only felt like he wasn't really alone in certain moments. Sharing a bed with Prokopenko or the rest of his boys, racing with Ronan, dreaming with Ronan...doing anything with the other dreamer, really. More than that, Ronan had made him feel alive. But Ronan wasn't here right now and Dimitri was.
There was something intimate about their vulnerability, the fact that either of them could easily ruin the moment with sharp words. Kavinsky didn't like feeling vulnerable, but he was already raw, almost to his core. Ronan had hurt him, left him feeling unbalanced.
Fuck it.]
Let's not be alone, then. You and me, we could be... fuck.
[He pushed a hand under his sunglasses, pressing his fingers against one eye while he sucked in a breath.]
Stick with me, you'll never have to be alone again.
[He didn't know exactly what he was suggesting. Some sort of friendship, some kind of bond. He wasn't sure if Dimitri needed to be pulled under his wing, if he was as damaged as the rest of Kavinsky's boys were, but... The offer was there, if Dimitri wanted to take it. There was only one drawback, besides the fact Kavinsky didn't handle rejection well; he didn't accept social breakups. If you were in, you were in for the long haul.]