I know that now. But that summer I was still figuring it out, and I took it out on you. You're not wrong either. I mean.. a lot of the shit you said was right, I just hadn't figured it out yet.
[He'd rather come around to K's way of thinking on that point, at least: fuck them. He wanted a world that was made for dreamers and dreams, a world where places like Cabeswater and Lindenmere were treasures instead of dirty secrets, where Matthew and Kavinsky and Prokopenko could just fucking live. That summer he hadn't known what he wanted. And maybe he doesn't now either, but he has a better grasp on it, at least.
He knows how big his dreams are, and how small the world feels for them.
But then Kavinsky says I really want to kiss you in the same breath that he says that they can take things slow, and Ronan burns, his face flushing a little. And he's maybe for the first time, a little bit glad that he and Adam broke up. Both because he wasn't good for him, and Adam Parrish deserves someone that will love him like a forestfire, like he put the stars in the sky. But also because he doesn't have to feel guilty for how much he still wants to kiss Kavinsky.
He smiles at him, letting his hands slide down his body so that he can curl his hands against his hips, holding on but also- the way he'd been soothing is shifting into something that's more clearly want and desire.]
What if I don't want to take it slow?
[Because god, fuck, but it felt like it had been so long already, like he'd been waiting, aching for Kavinsky to kiss him since junior year, since that first race or that first party, or the first time he'd been who he ran to on a bad night when he felt like he was crawling out of his skin.]
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[He'd rather come around to K's way of thinking on that point, at least: fuck them. He wanted a world that was made for dreamers and dreams, a world where places like Cabeswater and Lindenmere were treasures instead of dirty secrets, where Matthew and Kavinsky and Prokopenko could just fucking live. That summer he hadn't known what he wanted. And maybe he doesn't now either, but he has a better grasp on it, at least.
He knows how big his dreams are, and how small the world feels for them.
But then Kavinsky says I really want to kiss you in the same breath that he says that they can take things slow, and Ronan burns, his face flushing a little. And he's maybe for the first time, a little bit glad that he and Adam broke up. Both because he wasn't good for him, and Adam Parrish deserves someone that will love him like a forestfire, like he put the stars in the sky. But also because he doesn't have to feel guilty for how much he still wants to kiss Kavinsky.
He smiles at him, letting his hands slide down his body so that he can curl his hands against his hips, holding on but also- the way he'd been soothing is shifting into something that's more clearly want and desire.]
What if I don't want to take it slow?
[Because god, fuck, but it felt like it had been so long already, like he'd been waiting, aching for Kavinsky to kiss him since junior year, since that first race or that first party, or the first time he'd been who he ran to on a bad night when he felt like he was crawling out of his skin.]
I really want you to kiss me.