[The Barns was a complicated thing for Ronan. But it was always home; it was his very conception of what that was, what it could be. And he knew that Kavinsky had never had that, but he wants to- he didn't know. Share it with him, somehow. Show him that the Barns is a place that he could belong too, if he could find the words to say it in. Or maybe the dreamy hills and the peacocks and Ronan's dreamt lights would say it for him.
Ronan doesn't laugh, but he smiles, and it's like the anxiety bleeds out of him for the moment as Kavinsky leans his head on his shoulder. He reaches up a little awkwardly so that he could brush his fingers through the other boy's dark hair, just so that he can touch him, let his fingers whisper a different sort of affection than the kind he'd known how to say before.]
It creeps up on you, doesn't it? Skov. Like you think he's just this asshole punk, and then you realize he's, you know, one of the second-hottest guys I've met. And kind and loyal and funny, though mostly when he doesn't mean to be.
[He lightly bumps his shoulder into Kavinsky, a gentle touch that implies just who takes first place on Ronan's list. He's a little shy when he looks at K, like he isn't sure how much he's allowed to gush about another guy, even if it's Skov whose been one of Kavinsky's boys for as long as Ronan can remember. But then Kavinsky says that he still wants him to be his boyfriend, and Ronan eases.
It's easy for him to get himself wound up in his head, wound up in thoughts where all he sees is the worst. He feels almost embarrassed, but at the same time he's just glad that he gets this. That he can have a second chance, and that the fact that he liked Skov wasn't awful. It had been easy to see it that way with how adverse Ronan was to infidelity from long exposure to Declan, but the truth was that it was the lies that bugged him, and the way he treated the girls he dated like they were disposable, carbon-copies all named Ashley so he wouldn't even have to bother remembering their name.
But this wasn't that.
He cared about Kavinsky with an intensity that almost frightening, a ball of warmth and want and something else that he couldn't say yet. And he liked Skov as a person, too. He didn't just like his dick, or the way his eyes looked in the sunlight. He was a soft heart wrapped in sharp edges, bloody knuckles and the easiest promise on his mouth was always the threat to fuck you up, and he burned when people pressed at the things he was loyal to.
There was no part of Ronan that thought either of them were meaningless, that would lie about it. It was nothing like Declan at all, and that made it easier to finally work through his feelings about Kavinsky and Skov and everything else.]
I wanna be your boyfriend. Cause you're the one. I'd-- if I have to pick I pick you. No one else is even close. But I mean, if we could make that work.. yeah, I'd like to work something out. I liked having you both, and I'd maybe like to mess around with him sometime, but only if that's okay, you know? And I guess I'd have to ask him if he'd want that.
[He laughs a touch, shrugs his shoulders a little bit helplessly.]
It's not like either of us had wanted to sit down and talk about our feelings, and then I fucked things up, so things are-
[Basically Ronan didn't quite know where he stood with Skov either, right now. But Kavinsky was the one that was important, and so he presses a kiss to his temple before flopping backwards onto the bed. He pulls Kavinsky back with him and shifts them towards the pillows so that he can snuggle up against his body, nosing into his shoulder with a faint murmur of contentment as he sweetly tangles their bodies together.
Skov was a question for later, Kavinsky was now.]
You're warm.
[He said it like a lazy excuse that he didn't even really believe that he needed. He wanted this, to stay the night tangled up together. And then he wanted to be a good boyfriend, to take the whole day to try and just give them something nice where they didn't have to give a shit about anything else.
Which meant he'd have to take something from his dreams tonight. Because he was going to take him to Cabeswater.
And Ronan wanted Kavinsky to have his own translation box, to show the other dreamer that he could speak back to dreams.]
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Ronan doesn't laugh, but he smiles, and it's like the anxiety bleeds out of him for the moment as Kavinsky leans his head on his shoulder. He reaches up a little awkwardly so that he could brush his fingers through the other boy's dark hair, just so that he can touch him, let his fingers whisper a different sort of affection than the kind he'd known how to say before.]
It creeps up on you, doesn't it? Skov. Like you think he's just this asshole punk, and then you realize he's, you know, one of the second-hottest guys I've met. And kind and loyal and funny, though mostly when he doesn't mean to be.
[He lightly bumps his shoulder into Kavinsky, a gentle touch that implies just who takes first place on Ronan's list. He's a little shy when he looks at K, like he isn't sure how much he's allowed to gush about another guy, even if it's Skov whose been one of Kavinsky's boys for as long as Ronan can remember. But then Kavinsky says that he still wants him to be his boyfriend, and Ronan eases.
It's easy for him to get himself wound up in his head, wound up in thoughts where all he sees is the worst. He feels almost embarrassed, but at the same time he's just glad that he gets this. That he can have a second chance, and that the fact that he liked Skov wasn't awful. It had been easy to see it that way with how adverse Ronan was to infidelity from long exposure to Declan, but the truth was that it was the lies that bugged him, and the way he treated the girls he dated like they were disposable, carbon-copies all named Ashley so he wouldn't even have to bother remembering their name.
But this wasn't that.
He cared about Kavinsky with an intensity that almost frightening, a ball of warmth and want and something else that he couldn't say yet. And he liked Skov as a person, too. He didn't just like his dick, or the way his eyes looked in the sunlight. He was a soft heart wrapped in sharp edges, bloody knuckles and the easiest promise on his mouth was always the threat to fuck you up, and he burned when people pressed at the things he was loyal to.
There was no part of Ronan that thought either of them were meaningless, that would lie about it. It was nothing like Declan at all, and that made it easier to finally work through his feelings about Kavinsky and Skov and everything else.]
I wanna be your boyfriend. Cause you're the one. I'd-- if I have to pick I pick you. No one else is even close. But I mean, if we could make that work.. yeah, I'd like to work something out. I liked having you both, and I'd maybe like to mess around with him sometime, but only if that's okay, you know? And I guess I'd have to ask him if he'd want that.
[He laughs a touch, shrugs his shoulders a little bit helplessly.]
It's not like either of us had wanted to sit down and talk about our feelings, and then I fucked things up, so things are-
[Basically Ronan didn't quite know where he stood with Skov either, right now. But Kavinsky was the one that was important, and so he presses a kiss to his temple before flopping backwards onto the bed. He pulls Kavinsky back with him and shifts them towards the pillows so that he can snuggle up against his body, nosing into his shoulder with a faint murmur of contentment as he sweetly tangles their bodies together.
Skov was a question for later, Kavinsky was now.]
You're warm.
[He said it like a lazy excuse that he didn't even really believe that he needed. He wanted this, to stay the night tangled up together. And then he wanted to be a good boyfriend, to take the whole day to try and just give them something nice where they didn't have to give a shit about anything else.
Which meant he'd have to take something from his dreams tonight.
Because he was going to take him to Cabeswater.
And Ronan wanted Kavinsky to have his own translation box, to show the other dreamer that he could speak back to dreams.]