[Adam laughs softly, a tilt of his head and the way that he looks at Kavinsky is searing. Because he's gorgeous and popular and everything that Adam isn't. Or that was what he had thought before, anyway. Now, here- it was his eyelashes and the way he always felt dangerous despite his rough edges, despite that he was still hurting.]
Is that even a question? Everyone wants you. [A breath.] I want you. But I want more of you than you give the boys at your parties.
[It's not quite the question that Kavinsky had asked, but it feels like the one that he'd meant. And Adam.. well, he's been showing up at the other boy's parties for a while by now. He's ben watching him, in part because he watched Swan and Skov, but also just because Kavinsky was magnetic, a dark star. No one seemed to see his light, but the gravity was undeniable.
He doesn't say it like a demand, but like a fact. He hasn't let himself get close to Kavinsky because of it. Because he gives so little of himself away and Adam is greedy. Skov would tell him he wasn't, that asking for what he need isn't greed. But to Adam, love has always seemed like a privilege, and he's still unlearning the feeling. But he says it, which is probably progress, the fact that he allows to acknowledge this boy he doesn't deserve. That he lets it exist, lets himself acknowledge both that he wants him and why he's never let himself close enough before.
He doesn't quite know how to say thank you when Kavinsky insists it still takes bravery. And he's not wrong, really. When Adam's free-will, his autonomy was something that he'd suffer for. Someone's death wasn't really a sacrifice, it wasn't that simple.
Kavinsky doesn't kiss him, he wrapped his arms around the other boy, and Adam didn't know if it was a response to what he'd said about wanting more of him, but Adam pulls him into his arms anyway. Kavinsky's lovely, but he's also skinny, taller than Adam, but less muscle, less weight to him. So it's easy to draw him into his arms, to lean their temples together, to let himself feel like he could protect him.
It's easier to focus on than the secret he's keeping. The one that he has to face his father in court.]
no subject
Is that even a question? Everyone wants you. [A breath.] I want you. But I want more of you than you give the boys at your parties.
[It's not quite the question that Kavinsky had asked, but it feels like the one that he'd meant. And Adam.. well, he's been showing up at the other boy's parties for a while by now. He's ben watching him, in part because he watched Swan and Skov, but also just because Kavinsky was magnetic, a dark star. No one seemed to see his light, but the gravity was undeniable.
He doesn't say it like a demand, but like a fact. He hasn't let himself get close to Kavinsky because of it. Because he gives so little of himself away and Adam is greedy. Skov would tell him he wasn't, that asking for what he need isn't greed. But to Adam, love has always seemed like a privilege, and he's still unlearning the feeling. But he says it, which is probably progress, the fact that he allows to acknowledge this boy he doesn't deserve. That he lets it exist, lets himself acknowledge both that he wants him and why he's never let himself close enough before.
He doesn't quite know how to say thank you when Kavinsky insists it still takes bravery. And he's not wrong, really. When Adam's free-will, his autonomy was something that he'd suffer for. Someone's death wasn't really a sacrifice, it wasn't that simple.
Kavinsky doesn't kiss him, he wrapped his arms around the other boy, and Adam didn't know if it was a response to what he'd said about wanting more of him, but Adam pulls him into his arms anyway. Kavinsky's lovely, but he's also skinny, taller than Adam, but less muscle, less weight to him. So it's easy to draw him into his arms, to lean their temples together, to let himself feel like he could protect him.
It's easier to focus on than the secret he's keeping. The one that he has to face his father in court.]